A641.4.3.RB - Tipping Points of Emotional Intelligence

There are times in my career when I thought I had a grasp on my emotions, leadership skills, and abilities, this led me to believe things at work were smooth sailing. However, something rocked the boat and I had to make a change to refocus my skills for the better. What is one tipping point at work that I experienced, what happened in the situation, what was the result, and would I do anything different next time?

Situation:

            I had been working in my job for almost two years and had a great working relationship with my team members, my job was running smoothly and I was confident with my work. The department was in the middle of hiring a new team member and I was excited to see who would join our team. I had already trained 3 people and I was excited to do this again, I enjoy working with people and getting to know them through training. Day 1, the new employee comes in and I immediately felt something was off but I could not pinpoint why I felt this way, I was uncomfortable and it was unsettling. Day 2, began training with my co-worker and I because we had been in the department longest and we worked together to train the new team members. On this day, the individual started making snide comments, bragging and questioning our knowledge pertaining to our job. This did not settle well for me but I kept trying because I was not going to compromise my standard of work because this individual was making me uncomfortable. A few days passed and this individual was beginning to really get under my skin and their presence was bringing out the worst in me. I finally had to speak with my supervisor and explain I was not able to train this individual because he refused to be quiet long enough to listen, instead the individual was arguing with me. The supervisor spoke with the individual and he finally sat long enough to let us train him.

            However, this did not last long. When the individual was free to work alone, he went back to his behavior he started with and I started to catch him in habitual lies about the work he was doing and cutting corners. The lies would have a direct impact on my work and others in the department. My attitude started to change and I was losing my joy to go to work because I was in a situation where my moral compass was struggling between being honest and letting the person make their mistakes; I stood by quietly knowing my reputation was on the line.

The Result:

            As a result of his behavior toward me, I began to change and was making errors and mistakes with my job because I was stressed being around this individual. Unfortunately, this individual still works in the department but I had to make a choice to stop allowing his behavior and actions to influence my attitude at work. My boss had a project come up and he put us on the project together, this was my tipping point. I realized I had no way out and would have to find a way to work with this individual to complete the project. I did not want to compromise my reputation and forget why I do my job and my passion for my job. I started to pray because I was angry at first, however; through prayer, self-evaluation, and understanding my emotional intelligence, I realized I would not grow as an employee, leader, or supervisor if I was not willing to work with people who challenge me. I took on the project with an open mind and worked with this individual to complete it, I found myself at peace working with him because I knew my attitude and behavior would have a direct impact on the project if I was not willing to cooperate.

           

What would I do differently:

            If I could go back in time and change anything, I would not let this individual get the best of me. I would keep my composure and remind myself in the moment that if I am frustrated or irritated and I lose control of my emotions, I have let another person have control of me. I would go back in time and let feelings roll off and let it be. However, this was a time for me to learn, grow, and build my knowledge as a leader to make better decisions in the future. Formica (2009) shared that one should pay attention to repeated patterns, deconstruct them, and when you are ready ask the questions that need to be asked. Heal yourself, and, in doing so you transform everything around you, your relationship to it and its relationship to you.   

Formica, M. (2009, April 7). Emotional Readiness and the Tipping Point of Change. Emotional Readiness and the Holy Grail. Retrieved February 4, 2017, from Psychology Today website:https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/enlightened-living/200904/

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