A641.3.3.RB - Working with EI: Getting Results!

The four elements of emotional intelligence influence our understanding of our strengths and weaknesses of emotional intelligence. By understanding self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and social skills I can evaluate where I need improvement, where I am balancing the skills, and where in my career I should improve the use of emotional intelligence.  

Self-awareness is having an understanding and knowledge of one’s own self, their emotions, and how they respond to others. This is supported by Sterrett (2014) who stated that it is an awareness of ourselves on many different levels to include our body and our physical reactions. In addition, (2014) stated that the more self-awareness we have the more easily we can adjust our responses to others, and the more mutually satisfying our interactions and transactions. My level of self-awareness is high and often I find it is a virtue and a hindrance because I realize how I express my feelings has a direct reflection of how others respond to me. Areas where I am passionate about something concerning my job, others may not feel the same way, therefore; I set a standard of how I feel something should be done and I believe others should have the same standard. This has a direct reflection as well with social awareness because I may set a high standard for my work ethic, I must accept and understand not everyone has the same passion. It is important for self-improvement and emotional intelligence to not force my views and passions on others, this may turn them away or set myself up for disappointment.

 Self-management is staying in control of one’s self during situations that cause high stress, uncomfortable conditions, or pushing one’s comfort zone. Compton (2010) explained that people with strong emotional self-control manage to stay composed and poised even in stressful situations. This is one area where I must remain fully aware of my body language, tone of my voice, and facial movements because I do not always have to verbally say what I am thinking, it may also be expressed in how I respond using non-verbal communication. This is one area where I continuously need improvement because I am often told that what I am thinking is all over my face, which can be embarrassing. To hide this I will discreetly clench my jaw until the wave of feelings or emotions have passed and I can relax enough to keep my cool under pressure. However, in situations where I am caught off guard, this can be difficult to mask.

In order to overcome an area where I struggle I have to make a conscious effort to stay balanced emotionally and try to not take everything personally. Crompton (2010) provided coaching tips to get a handle on this situation these include remain aware of one’s feelings, keep a journal, pay attention to self-talk, and remember you have a choice.

Within the realm of social skills, I often adapt to the environment even when I am faced with the unknown. I have found that making connections with others is a struggle for both sides when in an unfamiliar situation but I remain aware of my body language, tone of voice, and empathy of others.  Woodcock (2015) shared eight ways to improve one’s social awareness which include:

1.      Learning to identify which situations make one uncomfortable.

2.      Learning to be aware of other’s behaviors that may make you respond negatively.

3.      Taking ownership for one’s behaviors and learning to apologize.

4.      Ask others for their honest feedback about the way you interact with them.

5.      Be aware of body language.

6.      Learn to listen with genuine intent.

7.      Accept that improving your social skills is not an overnight process.

8.      Maximize your positive personality traits and use them to your advantage when interacting with others.

Each of the tips provided will help maximize my efforts to continuously improve my social skills and my understanding of emotional intelligence. Overall, learning to balance the four elements of emotional intelligence is a skill that I will keep working at every day. The knowledge will continue to build and I will constantly reevaluate where I struggle and need improvement to prevent being comfortable and failing to grow.  

Crompton, M. (2010, June). Increase Your Emotional Intelligence through Self-Management. Peoria Magazine. 

Sterrett, E. A. (2014). The Role of Self-Awareness in Emotional Intelligence. Amherst, MA: HRD Press, Inc.

Woodcock, B. (2015, April 9). 8 Steps To Improve Your Social Awareness [Linkedin]. Retrieved January 28, 2017, from https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/ 

     8-steps-improve-your-social-awareness-bob-woodcock-mba